The Fear of Judgement has been amplified by one simple idea: everyone can have an opinion. It seems to be an unchecked, ever growing reason we don’t do things we want.
The solution preached by many is simply “don’t care about other people’s opinions.” Which… no shit, Sherlock. That would be great. But growing to a place where you don’t care about other people’s opinions takes time and courage. Even if we had an “I don’t Care” switch, most start on “Care”. Flipping the switch is a process, not a moment. I specifically struggle with Assumed Judgement: “If I do this, X person/people/group will thing negatively.” With that being said, I wanted to share a few strategies that have helped me.
There is a person or group on the other end of Assumed Judgement. It’s someone you respect, want to be like, or want to like you. In my experience, the Judgement is not coming from them. Rather, it is reflecting the assumptions you hold, either about their values or their reality.
Call them. Float an idea, see how they react. Uncover the judgement feared and see if it is worth fearing. A fear bouncing around without context creates a skewed perception of Reality. But that ability can come to your benefit.
This idea is poached from Tim Ferriss, who poached it from a smart Greek or something. Take the worst possible outcome of your decision and work up from it. This is great at using your nature to your benefit. If you’re going to assume the worst, carry through that assumption and find the reality on the other side. Learn more about it here!
Share with Someone
I have never been one to complain, but there’s something to hearing your own ideas in front of someone. Not even someone you trust. The other day, I said the nerves I had about a potential new job to a roommate in the wrong language. Just saying them to someone else made most of the negative points fall flat on their face. Again, make sure that your thoughts aren’t able to bounce around.
One Step for Man
Something I’m still working on is the idea that the speed of the decision is more valuable than the debate. If you’re nervous, what’s the first step? What is the smallest possible step you can take to get closer to a final goal? Make it. Make a Facebook page, read the book, break the first sweat. You can always change later once there is more information. For now, get to it champ!
Thanks for taking a sip,
This one was inspired by more than a few big names. Mostly though, it’s an answer to the question of what I’m going to be doing next.